Timo35

i partied pretty hard last night, i'm paying' for it now cause the headache is so bad i'm losing my sight. the night was fun i cant lie, i was in a couple fights, not to proud of it but i did alright. it so was not worth it. i'm tired of the pain. hop in that hot shower, and pop some oxy as i watch water spiral down the drain. i cant seem to function in life, i'm addicted to a fried brain. i don't like being confused but what else is there for a 16 year old to gain. i prey for the day when i can leave, i'm an ungrateful child full of false expectations. i cant seem to follow the systems of the weak minded people telling me to stay. i

There's no distraction to successfully mask reality. Yet we focus on the fine points of devotion to capture immortality in a second. We hold it close till its forgotten, this is called a memory. Like that time we goofed off in Walmart or stayed up watching TV. Or the time I finally asked her out. Or How I almost asked her to marry me. Good times and bad. Frozen for eternity. We don't move on we forget. Every bleeding wound I have can't be fixed, someone new will come along remove the sharp edge help me stand strong and stitch me up quick, but in time they'll get ticked shove it back in and out of rage give it a twist. I hold the weight of the

sitting in a dark room, alone with my thoughts. My intentions are weak, my mind begins to rot. I'm not as strong as I try to be so instead of fighting I stop . submit to depression, blank expression, I'm lost. I fall short of my goals I want to be a man but I'm not. With every breath I take I exhale ice and my temperature rises i feel hot. Make no mistake it burns. But I get back up. My fists clenched like rocks. I square off with life. No reff to call the cheap shots, we trade blows. Haymakers hooks we fought. I inch foreword no time on the clock, I get closer with every shot, my breath escapes me, no time to stop!. My throat burns, my knees

What I'm seeing is were blind, we follow behind puppets like were operating without a mind. Law and order that's what were based off right? Then why are we at war over a threat. We initiated the fight. Now there trying to suspend rights. We are the force of which we stand against, were broken huh? Ain't that right. Say its just conspiracy, cause no one ever screwed you to get what they wanted in the past, no that's not right? There's just new strings attached tightening down like a vice. Now play that violin puppet wile I create my new life. No that's not what it feels like every time we try to step out of "guidelines" its just a lie. You jus

Its 2 am I see the door crack, there's light. There's a rustle in the other room,my fists clench like I'm ready to fight. I hear A creepy laugh in my head, so I click clack that slide. This old witch, now in front of me kinda laughs as she says (bye bye.) There's dry blood on her forehead I'm floating, what the fuck, am I high ? I cant control the situation, I'm getting choked I cant scream. Am I gonna die?. She drops me on the floor I cant get up, my brains fried. Head rushes and lack of oxygen I see white. I cant believe it this demon ass bitch! shes playing with my life! She lets me know shes happy, makes me look at her. That' right. A

I hide in my room, spend time alone. I feel like a monster with a miserable groan. I'm afraid of who I am. the secrets I hold. I can't fight the pain that's lurking below. For some venting is easy, to a friend or a spouse. But its not like that in my mind its move on or move out. I hate who I've become, i'm bound at the wrists by my imperfections. Not man enough to let it out, so I hide my infection. But it keeps growing. Like anger towards manipulation its explosive in its size and I try hard to hide, But I loose control and I've lost my sight there's nothing to hold I can't do it. It doesn't feel right. So I sit alone at night, think now's

I love you, those words have an impact, they tend to attack the conversation. Heard over yelling screaming and destination. It means a lot.... Said to little or to often these words don't stop. They hold the weight of the world and we cast them so gently. But what have we forgot?. To often I heard it said for social convention, or for public appearance, these words have intentions. Like a loaded pistol they have to be used correctly. Cause a bullet wound in the chest can't begin to relate to the tearing past we've all felt. It hurts. It Disrupts our breathing.. Scares us, worry grief pain suffering tears its insane that's the price we pay. Bu

I met the devil in my dreams, he started harassing me severed my brain like a mental torture catastraphy, call is blasphemy might as well. Cause night after night I journey to the gates of hell. Meet saitin for drinks in a shitty ass hotel. Get drunk with the devil, sign contracts and promise never to tell. Lucid dreams are my reality. Physical torture is nothing. He's at the top of his class, memory warfare, what I do and dont remember comes back to stab me in the back. He cant hurt you, so he tends to keep track. of Your short comings and moments of weakness he keeps a list. These paper stacks are thick. I take residence in the infern